Today's blog is about two bands that started a few years ago, but haven't even come close to taking off. Both of them have good songs, here are a few. First of all the band called Cab. All the songs below are off their most recent CD, "Symphony Soldier":
This is "Animal":
"Angel With A Shotgun":
"Temporary Bliss":
This is Vendetta Red's "hit", but not their only good song:
For those of you who like My Chemical Romance's "The Black Parade", the Vendetta Red CD "Sisters of the Red Death" is thematically similar. Thanks to my good friends at Graywhale, I was able to purchase the CD for only a buck and I'm glad I did. I would give it two thumbs up and urge you to check it out. Here are some songs from that excellent CD:
Only 253 views for this video of "Run":
"A Joyless Euphoia": (Warning this is explicit and the sound isn't as good as I would like.)
This song is called "Coital Improv", yeah you heard me. I really like this song, again the sound isn't optimal on this video.
Sorry to get so heavy, I just want to warn you that if you're going through a divorce to be very careful. The decisions you make now and the things you agree to now will affect you forever. Before you finalize the divorce, give yourself some time to think through things. I went to see an attorney and he told me not to agree to anything until I "pulled my head out of my ass". Unfortunately I didn't listen and now I'm regretting it. I get my kids less than I want and only have one of 4 of my kids for taxes. I was s0 emotionally and mentally screwed up I just agreed to anything.
I was also delusional in hoping that I could save the marriage and was also agreeable because of that. I would never suggest to be rude or anything similar to that. However you have to be very pragmatic and you need to fight for what is right. But fight fair, especially if you have kids. Don't let the feelings for your ex influence the decisions you make regarding your kids. Make sure you let your kids know that both parents still love them very much. Also remind them that the divorce in no way is their fault. So while you will want to look out for yourself, look out for your kids even more. I'm very happy to pay child support, not so much alimony.
The more pressure you feel from the soon to be ex, the more you dig your feet in. Don't necessarily drag your feet and draw out the process, but be very careful. Wait until you are clear eyed enough to make good decisions. Talk to people who have been divorced and listen to their advice. Also have someone that you trust read over the divorce decree before agreeing to anything. I'm glad I had someone do that for me or I would have even got screwed worse.
I'd suggest you wait at least 6 months from when you find out you are getting divorced to when you have it finalized. Divorce is a weird creature. The last thing you want to do is slow it down, but that's what you need to do. It will be one of the hardest things you do, but you will be so grateful you did it years later. Enough regrets come with divorce, don't have any more from the divorce decree.
You shouldn't fight paying child support, obviously you still want to support your kids. I would suggest to men fight to pay state mandated child support minimums and don't pay alimony at all. Most people don't pay that, it's sort of going away. Of course, if you have extra you can give it to the ex or spend it on the kids yourself. Kids usually always need new clothes and other basics.
Make sure you get a good attorney as well. If you have any fears about their competency, it's time to get a new attorney. Unfortunately the law isn't represented by the most wholesome people in the world. The law is also not about what's right or wrong, it's about getting the most for yourself. Although that's a tough situation, deal with it as much as you can. As a man the bias is against you from the beginning, which is another reason to take your time in the whole divorce process.
Even after a divorce is finalized the decree can be changed, but again you would need to get a lawyer. Unless you have a lot of money, that's not a very feasible option. Get it right the first time.
Divorce is brutal and scars you for life, even a "good" divorce will. I worked with a very good counselor and she helped me through a lot. Without her help, I'd be much worse off now. But still therapy doesn't cure everything. My divorce was so bad- and relatively it wasn't that bad- that I don't know if I ever want to get married again. That's not me hating marriage, that's me haunted by the specter of a potential second divorce.
Once you get divorced you need to do a lot of thinking. I also suggest that every person goes through some counseling, I'm so much better off because I did. I can't emphasize that enough. It will be a bit weird not being married anymore and you'll be dragging bottom. But remember this is just temporary, don't make any rash decisions. It will take you at least a year to mentally work through everything.
Everyone heals at different rates, but one thing that most people agree on is to wait at least a year before you start dating. Unfortunately past relationships will continue to haunt you. There have been times where I feel healthy enough to date and an issue from the past comes up. That always slows me back down on dating again. Unless you are really lucky, you are literally haunted by your divorce for the rest of your life.
Also from experience, put off one on one dating for awhile. Go out in group things. Not only is there a lot less pressure, it's also much more economical. You can find out about a lot of people quickly in a safe environment.
I heard this song this morning that explains some of the above. This is Guns N' Roses "There Was A Time". This song does a good job describing the loss of affection when a relationship ends.
When the following song started playing this morning I wondered how did this song get on my iPod? I then remembered what song it was:
themusicaddict
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