Do you want to make a hit TV show? Well don't do what the folks behind "American Gothic" have done. They might have made the dumbest show on TV since "The Mob Doctor". At least "American Gothic" has a better title, but that's the smartest thing about this brain dead show. This show has no soul, no heart and worst of all no sense-of-humor. I don't think it's coincidental that there's only about 3 actors you recognize from other shows. Not a lot of acting prowess is shown in the first episode.
If you watch "American Gothic", be prepared to go to cliche city. Let's count the cliches: The Hawthornes are an allegedly well bred Boston family. The kind that hold themselves above common people as they think they are better than other people. But like everyone else they have their own secrets, including secrets that are outrageously unbelievable.
The tag line "The family you'd least suspect is the one with all the suspects." That gives you an idea of just how dumb this show is.
Patriarch Mitch Hawthorne (Jamey Sheridan- hey there's the creepo vice-president from the much better "Homeland".) is the seemingly above reproach businessman. But boy does he have a whopper of a secret to hide. But is it his secret or his wife's secret? Is one of them really the Silver Bells killer? The killings had ended about 14 years previously. The Hawthornes are into the concrete business and one of their bridges suffers a collapse. When that collapse is investigated a belt is found from possibly the Silver Bells killer.
Madeline Hawthorne is the matriarch that's not afraid to get her hands dirty to protect- we're not sure what she's protecting. Is she protecting herself or her family?
Cam Hawthorne, the son with a drug problem. He and his wife/ ex-wife- I'm not sure which- are really bad for each other, which obviously means they can't stay away from each other. Neither one is surprised that their kid is a bit of a freak.
Tessa Ross (Megan Ketch- I've seen her before but couldn't remember what it was in.) seems to be about the only Hawthorne kid that has an ounce of common sense. She and Cam are the ones that find the clue that makes them think their Dad, or maybe loner brother, might be the Seven Bells Killer. Tessa is married to a cop, but not only a cop a detective. And you'll never guess which case he's investigating! Oh I'm kidding, of course you will.
Garrett Hawthorne, the loner son who has left the family's embrace, for- wait for it- 14 years has reluctantly come back after father Mitch suffers the heart attack. Of course he knows something about his Dad and the Silver Bells killer.
And this show has a lot of cliches to cover, so of course the Hawthornes have a lot of kids. What cliche are we missing? Oh yeah, one of the Hawthornes is running for political office. That would be Alison Hawthorne- Price. Of course a Hawthorne is running for office. When Alison finds out about the Silver Bells Killer clues, she wants to wait until after the campaign to let people know. What could go wrong? We quickly get the sense that her husband is more a selling point than actual husband. And since this is a modern day show, she seems to be having an affair. And of course it's a lesbian affair.
This show has certainly checked all the cliche boxes.
With all of that being said I thought I still might watch some of the other episodes, you know for unintentional comedy reasons. But then I realized this show was one of the slowest, most boring hours of TV ever. I'm not sure how I survived the first hour. I've used intentionally bad puns as they fit in with the stupidity of this show.
Have I whet your appetite yet? The second episode is Wednesday, June 29th. Make sure you have something better to do. That is unless you want to learn how not to make a good show. "American Gothic" is a criminally bad TV show.
If you want to watch a good police show, watch the much better "Longmire", "Motive", "Blue Bloods" or "Law & Order: SVU".
themusicaddict
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