Hello,
I received this angry e-mail to yesterday's blog, this is the comment verbatim.
Dude, I'm not sure how much luck you'll have finding a new woman when you keep referring to the mother of your children as your "hex." Women want to see how you treat other women. Other than your mom, I mean. I've talked to a lot of women and momma's boys who don't know how to change tires and wait on the side of the road like a damsel in distress for a knight in shining armor to save the day aren't really high on the checklist of potential mates. Too bad you are so against cell phones. Your "hex" could have come fixed your car for you.
Perhaps an honest dialogue with yourself in the mirror about why exactly she no longer wished to be married to an adult baby who participated zero percent in the raising of your children would do you some good. Denial only goes so far, you know?
Posting Miley Cyrus videos can't be helping either... unless you are looking for a child-bride. I don't know, maybe you swing that way.
Just a little advice. Take it and use it or ignore it and continue sounding like a fool. It's up to you, girlfriend.
I'd just like to reply to a couple of statements, my side of the story. First of all as always thanks for reading my blog and thanks for commenting on it.
Last night obviously I was very irritated when I wrote my blog. I just am right now very damaged and struggling to get back to semi-normal. A divorce knocks one on their butt and I was slowly recovering and then I heard from my ex-wife. Since I'm damaged right now I don't want to deal with her. I need to work my way through the post divorce wilderness. I wish only the best for her. She's a great person and am glad she was in my life for so long. But now I need as much space as possible so that I can recover. Recover is what I need to do for my kids, my future wife, my ex-wife and myself. That's not going to be a quick process as anyone who has gone through a divorce knows.
Thanks to my counseling I have a "honest (and brutal) dialogue" with myself everyday. Yes, I know I have a lot of work to do. At this point it doesn't matter to me why my ex-wife didn't want to be married to me. Point of fact I did take a lot of responsibility in helping raising my children. My role is much reduced now since I only see them a couple of times each week. But I still take my limited role very seriously.
As for Miley Cyrus, I really like that album. That's the only reason I post those videos. Her CD "Can't Be Tamed" is easily one of the best CD's this year so far. And I know how strange that sounds coming from a previously Miley Cyrus hater and a Led Zeppelin and Pearl Jam lover.
Have a great day everyone, themusicaddict
4 comments:
I generally don't read your blog anymore, this was forwarded to me by a reader of yours. Maybe you should take a more honest look at yourself because you only see the kids ONE day (less than 24 hours most a lot of the time) a week when you could see them more...you choose not to. You did help with homework, chores, and prayer, but when it came to other things you were absentee for the most part, like back to school night, parent-teacher conferences etc. You will never be what you need to be if you can't be brutally honest with yourself.
I wish you well in your future, and I hope for your sake and the sake of the kids you will take an honest look at every aspect of your parenthood.
I’m not angry. Why would I be angry. I don't even know you. I just finally broke down and had to comment. You sound pathetic and you need to get it together.
Here’s the thing. I’ve been through a divorce. My ex-wife is the nastiest, ugliest human being I have met. Your “hex” doesn’t even register on the same chart. I have spent the last several years working on getting my kids away from her, which I have finally done. Would I ever publicly call her the “hex?” Absolutely not. I respect my kids too much. Have I said some pretty spiteful things about her behind closed doors to close friends and family. Absolutely. However, I don’t think you can blame your ex-wife for anything that has happened to you. I think anybody even slightly familiar with the situation (other than your mom) would agree that you are the “hex” in her life. You are where you are because of you. Calling her names on your blog only helps prove this point. And saying you need to make changes isn’t the same thing as making changes.
Next, you seem to be really wrapped up in yourself and your feelings about getting divorced. I have news for you. Your side of the story doesn’t matter. You don’t matter. The only people who matter are your kids and them not realizing that you care more about yourself (or what your mommy says) than you do about them. Grow a pair of nads, Holmes, and finally do the right thing and step up to the father role that you accepted when you decided to have your first child.
Turn off the Miley Cyrus and Pink and whatever other synthesizer-driven drivel you listen to and man up. This teenage bubble-gum pop you listen to is frying your brain. This ain’t junior high anymore, hot stuff. Get your ego in check. This is real life. You can sit around and mope or you can pay attention to things that are important (things that are important = anything not about you).
you need to be the kind of man you would want your daughter to choose in her future. what they say is true...daughters marry men just like their fathers. and unfortunately this seems to be the case that stefanie and i have both done. i would hate to see this cycle continue. as far as not seeing your kids on a more regular basis, i think that has been totally up to you. i have seen courtney go through her own "dad" caring more about himself then spending time with her and i have seen the heart break she has had in the past and too scared to say anything to him about it. not that he would care anyway because, like you, he was brought up to think of noone before himself. and he still does...#1 reason, his mommy keeps teaching him that it is ok to not act like a man. PATHETIC!! if the mommy would just live her own life and let you make your own decisions, i promise your life would have turned out much different and more respectful. and you may have been alot more successful in all aspects of life. im not just pointing fingers at you only, but the lack of responsibility men take in their marriage and raising their kids now days is totally pathetic. because of this, i refuse to have anymore children or get married. we are supposed to be able to rely on our "men" to keep us protected and safe....as ive heard your church leaders say...but you know what, your church leaders are full of shit. because it doesnt exist these days. and it is really sad to see you making an example of that. im all for venting, but you need to do that in your own personal journal instead of an outlet that your kids can read. you arent protecting them by ranting about something they dont need to know about. they have enough stress regarding their parents splitting up and possibly having to be uprooted from their school and their home and friends...and then have your anger to fill in the cracks??? those kids are gonna need some massive counseling. all i ask is that you dont make the same mistake i've made. i know you are angry but you chose to get married and you chose to let it go to shit. just like the "hex" has done....so just leave it be.
Hey, I chose to get married, but I didn't choose to let it go to shit...I kept trying, kept communicating, kept doing everything I could, but no matter what I said it didn't matter. I can't do it by myself.
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