Thursday, May 26, 2011

May 25th "AI" Finale Review

Hello,

I was hoping that Lauren could end up winning this season's "AI" but wasn't surprised that Scotty McDreary did. And as I, and many other people, predicted the announcement of the winner was anti-climactic. There were some good performances, bad performances and Jacob Lusk please get the hell off my TV performances.

Last night's victory was bittersweet for Scotty. He won, and probably in a landslide, but then he had to sing that crappy song. His "first single", "I Love You This Big". I expect that song to rack up a lot of quick sales. But if that song came along later in his career I think he would have had few sales. He's just the new thing, so the song will sell. Let's be perfectly honest, that's a terrible song. Like most recent winners I think that he will fade soon.

I also love how "American Idol" admitted that the Jimmy Iovine experiment was a complete disaster as he wasn't seen once during the show. Does that mean we won't have to see him ever again? I hope so because he was terrible. The alleged superstar producers were also terrible. I have an example of their less than quality work.

Here's some of the producers work, listen to how much this song is ruined. This is Pia's fault this is the producer's fault for ruining the classic Whitney Houston track.



How the song should sound:



Please bring back the mentors, they are considerably better than Jimmy, et al.

127 minutes of "American Idol", here we go. Thanks to my DVR, it only took me 88 minutes to watch it. Thanks to whoever invented the DVR.

Of course the show started off with Ryan and needless filler. Ryan it's time to retire the over used "This is....American Idol". We already know that Ryan. Ryan asks "Who are you here for?" I thought to myself Pia, Haley and the special guests.

For the first performance, the Top 13 took the stage singing Lady Gaga's "Born This Way". We had to see the hellacious appearance of Jacob Lusk again. Why does he grab his crotch so much? How he found it yet? How the hell did this sucky singer even make the Top 13? He belongs in "Idol" hell with William Hung and Sanjaya. However it was so good to see the gorgeous Pia Toscano again. I reviewed the songs she sang today at iTunes. I now understand why she was voted off. She sang the songs well, but she chose some boring songs and/or were handed songs with terrible arrangements. For Pia, Haley or any of the others to be successful it comes down to getting with the right producers and songwriters.

We had to deal with James "D bag" Durbin singing with Judas Priest. Judas Priest was good, but Durbin was terrible again. They sang the Priest classics "Living After Midnight"/ "Breaking The Law". Why was Durbin acting like he was the rock star, Durbin you are just the over praised d bag. A lot of people love Durbin, but I just don't get it. We had to hear the second rate Adam Lambert's screech again. Grades Judas Priest: A, Durbin: D

Next was shown Repeat Randy at his worst. Low lights of his constantly repeating himself. Is he the dumbest person in show business? How can we make sure Jackson isn't back next season? Grade: F.

What the hell is this we have to see Jacob Lusk again? He sings with Kirk Franklin and Gladys Knight on "I Smile". I loved how the choir came to save Lusk again. Lusk is a freak, can we please not see him ever again? "AI" is suppose to tell people without singing ability that they can't sing. "Idol" failed in regards to Lusk. Grades: Overall: C- as that is kind of a boring song. Gladys Knight: C, Kirk Franklin: C and Lusk: F

Finally after a boring start we had one of the show's few highlights, Casey Abrams and Jack Black singing "Fat Bottomed Girls". For you youngsters that's a song by Queen and their amazing front man Freddie Mercury. R.I.P. Freddie. Casey and Jack tore into that song and both acted like they enjoyed singing it. That was the best performance in the show to this point. Casey and Jack wore matching suits, causing some people to hope for those two in a "Blues Brothers" movie. Grade: B+

Then it's the ladies of "American Idol", hey wait a minute where is Jacob Lusk? I recognized "Single Ladies", but it took me a few minutes for me to realize they were singing a Beyonce medley. The ladies were wearing very short dresses and the producers had them sit down? They had to be very careful doing that. Were the producers hoping for a wardrobe malfunction to have a water cooler moment? Beyonce took the stage singing "Crazy In Love". Although I'm not a big Beyonce fan, I thought that was pretty good. The ladies performed pretty well, albeit I could only name a few of them now. Grade: B+

Time for Steven Tyler's highlights. It was funny that Tyler said one of his famous, profane phrases while was Scotty trying out. We found out through the season how much of a wholesome person McDreary is. Although while I'm not a big McDreary fan, I do appreciate that he has maintained his values. That's probably not easy to do in such a soul sucking environment. Steven Tyler in small doses and awake can be pretty funny. That's a lot more than you can say for Randy. Grade: B.

I know that Tony Bennett is a legend, I get it. However dude it's time to retire. I kept on looking for someone standing behind him holding him up. How old is he, I found out later he is 84. Haley was great on that song, but isn't that an awkward match? Both Durbin and Lusk got to sing with their heroes, why wasn't Haley able to? I think a Haley and Xtina duet would have been great. They could have cut out the Beyawnce performance. Overall that was a momentum killer. Grades: Overall: D+, which is a generous grade. Haley: A I always love to hear her sing. Tony: D+

Next up was JLo's Season 10 highlights, she's a hit with the guys. We already knew that, I'm glad that we didn't have to hear her horrendous laugh in her highlights.

Next up it was one of the low lights of the night. The combination of Lil Jon, TLC and the Top 13 ladies was awful. Although the Top 13 ladies were mostly an after thought. It started off horribly with Lil Jon's alleged rapping. Then TLC, who were wearing some butt ugly clothes, seemed to be straining vocally. Their take on their own "No Scrubs" was just awful. Thankfully for us they closed with their great song "Waterfalls". That song saved the whole performance. Grades: Lil Jon: F, The Ladies Top 13: negligible, TLC: C, Overall: C-

The next song was a complete mismatch. If this had been a brain power event it would have been Alex Trebec vs. Carlos Boozer in a contest of intelligence. Tim McGraw and Scotty sang a McGraw classic. Actually Scotty is better than my analogy suggests. They sang Tim McGraw's own "Live Like You Were Dying", which is a tremendous song. McDreary is nowhere in the same league as McGraw, it wasn't even close. McDreary you are going to have to be a lot better to become the big star that many people are predicting for you. Grades Song: A, Tim McGraw: A and McDreary: C McDreary needs to do something to break out of the sameness of nearly every one of his performances.

Next up a montage of some terrible Idol contestants and family members. That was followed by Mark Anthony taking the stage. I'm not certain, is he part of the bad contestants segment? My first thought seeing the scrawny, not attractive Anthony is how did he get J Lo? He's a good singer, but that song he sang sucked. If that song sucked any more, he should just call it vacuum. I had to skip through that performance to survive it. J Lo came to save it. She's an amazingly beautiful woman. Grades: Anthony: F, J Lo: A

The shocking eliminations skit was next, with James and Casey arguing that they were the most shocking elimination. Which of course neither one was, both should have been sent home sooner. Then Pia comes wearing a sash that says "Most Shocking". Seriously is she not so gorgeous and she has a tremendous voice. We will still be talking about her when McDreary has become a trivia question. Grades: Durbin and Abrams: D-, Pia just for being Pia: A++

Then it was time for a Tom Jones medley. Tom Jones? Seriously? The only solo I enjoyed on that medley was Stefano, he does "Kiss" very well. I won't even mention Paul, James, Casey or Jacob's solos. Just how did those James and Jacob get so much screen time? I'm not overwhelmed by either Paul or Casey, but at least both of them seem like good guys. On "Green, Green Grass of Home", Scotty's solo was terrible. That song was popularized and impeccably sung by Johnny Cash, again Scotty was over matched. Do people really think he's going to be a big star? I haven't seen anything that suggests he will be.

Tom Jones then took the stage, he sounded very good on "It's Not Unusual", although the song did drag on a bit long. Grades: Jones: B+, Lusk and Durbin: D-, McDreary: D, The rest of the male Idols: C.

Then it was one of "Idols" shameless commercials disguised as part of the show. "Idol" don't you kiss Ford's ass enough?

Next up was Lady Gaga. For once I thought she was going to go a performance with most of her clothes on. Gaga your body ain't that great and most of us don't have any desire to see you naked. (Penelope Cruz in the new "Pirates", now that's another story.) Gaga, please wear clothes. I get that your schicht is to push the boundaries. But that has become so boring. Why don't you put the focus on your abundant music talent, not on your less than amazing body. PLEASE!!!! Lady Gaga showing your nearly naked body all the time isn't female empowerment. Believe it or not you are being exploited.

Now on to her performance for "The Edge of Glory". First of all why is she wearing Jack Sparrow's hat? I liked how she started off the performance wearing clothes, what a concept. I knew she had to go skanky soon though. The song and performance started out fairly well but then it went downhill fast. It reached it's nadir when the male dancer joined her. Then Lady Gaga had to continue to push boundaries. The whole simulated sex and suicide thing, how lame was that? However it's nothing that we haven't seen Lady Gaga do many times before.

We then saw Simon Cowell briefly promoting the "X Factor" for this Fall. I loved that we saw Cowell more than music lightweight Jimmy Iovine.

Next up was Lauren Alaina, is it just my imagination or did she get less air time than the Dbag brothers Lusk and Durbin? Maybe that was due to her strained vocal cord, I'll give TPTB the benefit of the doubt. Anyway Lauren and Carrie Underwood sounded good on Carrie's "Before He Cheats". Carrie Underwood is easily the most gorgeous Idol ever. Grade: B

Did we need to see Beyonce again, apparently not. Because it was her alter ego Beyawnce singing "One + One". She asked if she could sing to us. After hearing the first part of that song, my answer was "no". She called it "my favorite song". Really Beyawnce? It seems no one else is telling you this but that song sucks. Horrible song, horrible performance. The only thing that could have made it worse is if James or Jacob had joined her to sing it. Grade: D-

Although I've heard nothing but bad things about the "Spider-Man" play, I actually enjoyed the song from it. Reeve Carney, Bono and The Edge all performed "Rise Above". I wasn't real impressed with what I've heard from Reeve Carney before, but last night he sounded pretty good. Then as always you can expect solid performances from Bono and The Edge. Grade: B-

Steve Tyler then sang "Dream On" for what must be now several thousand times. Was he purposefully singing the lyrics so they couldn't be understood?

Then to not too many people's surprise McDreary was named the alleged "winner" of Season 10 of "American Idol". Lee DeWyze and Kris Allen welcome him to anonymity lane. So many people have come from "American Idol" with such a big boost. It's very surprising how truly few stars they've produced. By my count they've only produced three stars: Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Daughtry. The show gave Jennifer Hudson a shot in the public eye, but I think her hard work is what made her a star. It's mostly given us very mediocre singers for the most part, including many of the so-called "winners"

Then to make sure McDreary has no career, he was forced to sing that craptastic song "I Love You This Big". It currently is sweeping pre-schools nation wide.

themusicaddict

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