Hello,
Today was my first day with my new job, there was a misunderstanding about hours. I thought I would be there until 7:00 but I found out I was off at 2:00 instead. That was nice, but that means my next two weeks will be the 50 plus hours week. There's so much to learn, I think I'll be able to learn it though. Once I get the hang of this job I think will be a great job for me. I love the thought of several 25 hour weeks and many 3 day weekends. I'll keep on reminding myself that when I'm working the 50 plus hour weeks.
I also have been battling a sick stomach the last couple of days, not wanting to eat much. Today I was battling weakness, tiredness and a feeling that I was about to pass out. Unfortunately nothing sounds good to eat. For the people that know me, that's not something that happens very often.
Unfortunately as I was meeting people, I got a few unneeded reminders of that very painful experience going on in my life. Yes, I'm talking about the divorce. (Mark Chesnutt's song "Going Through The Big D" is funny until divorce became part of my life. Yeah, this song is not even remotely funny now.
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I was talking to this woman and she was telling me she was going back to Idaho. Just to be polite I asked her why, she said it's because she was getting a divorce. As soon as she said that it was another kick in the gut for me. Also the boss at the college where I work her name is the same as my wife. I was talking to my Mom this morning about lunch bags. She said you probably have some from "when you lived here last time". Great, 3 unneeded reminders of the most painful experience of my life. It's so amazing how they sneak up on you from out of nowhere. When I think I'm protected and I might get a few minutes of relief, out come the unneeded reminders.
What started out as a good day has now sunk to a bad day. I'd do anything not to get divorced. This sucks so bad. Before the divorce this is how my wife made me feel:
I knew we were having struggles, but I always loved her. I still love her and still am very attracted to her. I miss holding her in my arms, kissing her, her sly sense-of-humor and her strong testimony.
Another song about my bad day and all my regrets:
A couple of quick non-divorce topics. I watched "Zombieland" last night, that had a few laughs. Woody Harrelson definitely had fun making that movie. I liked all the rules about how to survive in Zombieland.
Also tonight is the NCAA Tournament Men's Final. I'm cheering very much for Butler. I've always hated Duke, a bunch of spoiled, whiny, rich kids. (I don't know if they really are, but they act that way.) I'm going to be cheering on Butler as if they were my marriage being saved. Duke will be the divorce. I'll be cheering for Butler to snap Duke's will.
themusicaddict
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