In the belly of the beast!

Hello,

My wife and I are going through a divorce right now. For the record I want to say I love my wife very much and always will. We both also love our 4 kids as well. This is not a rip on my wife blog, this is the journey of an extremely painful divorce blog. I think my wife is an amazing woman and always will. I also write about music every once-in-a-while :)

Today another low in the weight battle. This Ambassador Bookstore exercise program is really working well! I have now lost 22.2 pounds. Now a lot of my clothes are starting to be too loose for me even to be able to wear them. If I lose too much more weight, which of course is what I want to do, I'll have to buy new clothes. In a couple of weeks hopefully I'll be able to go back to my regular exercise program. I want to continue to lose weight and continue working on my upper body. I want to be more toned so I won't be embarrassed each time I take my shirt off. I also read the last couple of chapters in 2nd Nephi last night, I'll be starting on Jacob tonight.

This being kicked out has been the most painful thing ever to happen to me, but it may also be the best. I'm eating less and a lot more healthy. I look forward to eating my daily banana. Also the weight loss, the scripture reading, the increased attention to my spiritual responsibilities and going to counseling. I hopefully will be able to go to the temple once this crazy work schedule is finished.

I work 8:00-7:00 today and then only a few hours more. Then Sunday I have the whole day off. Then it's back to the grind for 5 more 11 hour days and then it will be a whole weekend off. I worked by myself for the last hour last night and I'm working by myself all day today. That's good for me, it's forcing me to think for myself. Although I'm sure my trainer is at home waiting for a panicked call from me any minute. We've been working hard the last couple of weeks and done almost everything we could. That leaves very little for today. I took care of what I had to do this morning first thing. I've learned if I wait on things then I get overwhelmed. For me the best thing to do is to do things as they come. Although unless something surprising happens, it should be a pretty relaxed day today.

I still miss my beautiful wife and kids terribly. I haven't seen them since this past Sunday afternoon. I hopefully will be able to see some of them tomorrow and have them go to church with me on Sunday.

This morning I hit 108 hours since I last initiated contact with my beautiful wife. A couple of months ago that would have been unthinkable. It's amazing how much things can change in just a couple of months. When I think about that long space of no contact the following song goes through my mind: Whitney Houston's "I Didn't Know My Own Strength":



By the way yes I'll be glad when this goes back to being a full time music blog. I'm hoping that will start gradually happening in the next few months. Only 10.5 months until a full recovery hopefully :)

themusicaddict