Hello,
Today is a really bad day, I have a big hole in my heart. I use to have my wife there to help me feel better, but I don't have that any more. One of the things we did first when we were dating was we went and hung out. I needed to be with somebody that night and she changed her schedule around so she could be there for me. That was awesome, we went and saw the movie "Dazed and Confused". That was one of the best things someone has ever done for me.
Now I'm feeling worse than then and I have no one to be there for me. I can only see my family for 2 or 3 days each week. My wife only wants to see me if it moves along the divorce. My brother, sister-in-law and son are here. They are having fun as a family, whereas I'm alone. I feel like a big open wound today. I still wish I had my wife to help me feel better. Of course if I had my wife I wouldn't be feeling this way.
My wife is struggling with something but she won't tell me about it. I wish I could just be there for her and hold her. I wouldn't ask her any questions, I would just hold her and let her cry or whatever. The fact that I can't be there for her also hurts. The fact that she has practically cut me off from her life hurts as well. Guys please don't be such a fool like me and never take your wife for granted. You don't want to be here where I am.
My family were talking about my wife and how I'll need a haircut soon. My wife used to be my barber. My Mom said something like "now I'll have to have someone else besides my significant other be my barber." That was just one more kick in the gut. This sucks so bad!
I keep on hearing from people about the length of recovery for divorce, it looks like the average is about 9 months. That means I still have at least 8 months to go through this? I wish I could hang out with my family, even if for only a couple of hours.
Also thinking about dating again makes me want to drag a sharp razor across both of my wrists. I have extremely high standards for a wife. First of all they need to be temple worthy and I can take them to the temple. The reason why I mention this is because I had a wife that met that requirement and many other things. She was even better of a wife than I first thought she'd be.
themusicaddict
1 comment:
Damn right! I was a very, very good wife, but you took me for granted. You let me do everything alone...I've been alone for a long, long time and no matter how many times I told you I was lonely in our marriage, or how many times I would talk to you about other things it didn't matter. Now we are here, our family is being ripped apart, and what I thought would be an eternal marriage isn't. Actually we've never had a celestial marriage if you think about it, we got married and you stopped trying - it was like you had a wife so you didn't need to court me anymore, or take care of me the way a man should take care of a woman. You weren't my friend and accused me of being a lesbian on more than one occasion because I had close female friends. Our life together has been me and you living in the same house, but having separate lives. As long as you had what you wanted life was good, and the hell with the rest of us.
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