Hello,
Everyone in our family, except for our youngest bratty child went to church today. I waited for my wife and family to get home from church. (I'm going to church in a different congregation. I went to church this morning and then went up to my family's house.) I hung out there with our youngest child as the rest of my family went to their congregation.
When they got home from church my wife was ready to tell them but I wanted to talk to her first. We ended up talking for about 1.5 hours as our kids mostly were leaving us alone. It was one of the best conversations we have ever had. We talked about almost everything how this was going to affect us, affect our kids, our possible future spouses and how that will affect things.
She has inspired me to make a number of changes, we talked about that. Although it's too little too late. We also talked about sex and all the complications that come from that. In addition we talked about how this hasn't been an easy situation for either one of us, although it does seem it's been easier for her. 16 years of a shared life and hundred of memories. Some of those memories are even good :) Almost anything I do or think about has some tie to her. For instance, "Cold Case" is on tonight. That's one of her and my favorite shows but I don't know if I'll be watching it any time soon. It just has that emotional connection for me.
We talked about we understand about rebound relationships, at least for me I'll be looking for someone to fill that humongous hole in my life where my wife use to be. I'd rather this relationship to still work out, although that is highly unlikely. She basically wants our relationship to be friendly but other than that doesn't want much to do with me. Right now I'm not in any hurry to find another spouse. I don't want a girlfriend either, in time I want a wife. I'll be accepting applications in about a year :)
After that nice conversation we went to tell the kids the news. I asked her to tell the kids as it was just too hard for me. Without much preamble she told our kids. My oldest boy had something in hand, threw it across the room and ran to his room. He's a very emotional kid. Our three youngest kids seemed to take it pretty well, at least with as much as they can understand that sort of thing. I'm not sure I understand it, I just know I never want to go through it again.
We also assured our kids I'll still be seeing them at least once a week. This by far has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life, and we are only at the beginning of this emotionally battering situation.
With me in this very sad situation a lot of time music says things with a lot more eloquence than I ever would. This song almost describes me to a T right now:
This is another song that almost perfectly describes how I feel:
I'll be back tomorrow with my Top 14 "AI" contestants. There were two people who were sent home that should still be on the show. That means there are two people who made it to the Top 12 that just don't belong. You would have to go a bunch of miles through an urban underground to understand who I'm talking about.
themusicaddict
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