The Pain of Divorce

Hello,

This morning my lovely wife told me, via e-mail, that she wanted a divorce. She said that without actually saying the word "divorce". Her intentions were clear enough though. It's been a rocky 16 year marriage. We had been separated previously, got back together then just last week at her request we separated again. I was fired from my job the day before so I can't say it was real shocking. However before that I thought things had been good. I was happy, however she was deeply unhappy.

Lyrics in the following songs don't always match up to our exact situation, I'm referring more to the thought and the feeling behind the song.



I truly understand this song.

Here's another one:



One more, Whitney Houston why do you sing so much about my life?



This almost describes exactly how I feel right now:



This of course are the Commodores, perhaps the greatest band of all-time in terms of sad love songs. Oh yeah and nice hair Lionel.



Sorry for the lame CSI clips.



Here it goes men, even if you think your woman (doesn't necessarily need to be a wife) is happy you still must always work hard on the relationship. I was working hard on other things, but not hard enough on our marriage. If you want to avoid what our family and I will be going through probably for the rest of our lives, here's some advice. Only a fool wouldn't heed it. Have a date night every week. No excuses. You must never stop romancing your woman, you must never stop courting her, you must never take her for granted. Ladies sometimes guys aren't that smart, sometimes a pull on the ear will come in handy for both you and your man.

This is what could happen guys (sorry I couldn't copy and paste the video.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EICkZWEzFGE

As with someone I've spent 16 years of my life with the end comes with many mixed emotions. Obviously I'm angry and hurt, probably more angry than hurt. I still love her and always will, just like the Whitney Houston video above. I still think she's one of the best looking women I've ever seen, unfortunately those feelings of attraction don't go away. With my beliefs such as they are there's no way to release that desire. An unneeded and unwanted complication obviously.

Also there are the conflicting feelings of wanting her back but wanting to move on. I know it doesn't make any sense. I switch back and forth seemingly minute to minute.

I'm proudly a Mormon and am so glad for my faith right now. The Spirit of the The Holy Ghost is with me, I'm being comforted by it. I also am using other means to help me deal with this issue. Prayer is a great help, if you don't believe me try it. I'm also using the power of music. Music is something that has helped me get over many hurdles in my life and will continue to do so. I never thought my life would turn into a country song :) :(



This has been extremely painful but there are some good things coming out of this and my recent firing. I have really evaluated my life and have been working on making improvements. I've been busting my butt exercising lately and I'm keeping that up. I'm recommitting to my religion, scriptures and attending church. If I find another women, I'll never take her for granted.

I listen to iTunes 99% of the time completely random. It seems like there are two sorts of songs that have been playing lately. One are songs about sex, which don't help any. The second sort of song is about breaking up or thinking about breaking up and fighting to keep things together.

Then there's this song that describes all the great things of being in love. (Hey its from the 80's of course it's going to be cheesy. I'm referring to the lyrics about the good parts of love.)



Not to be too maudlin:



This Cinderella song is probably the greatest song of regret about love of all-time and I'm living this right now.



Then someday I hope I can get back to this point:



Hopefully someday I won't get to this point:



Always take care of your woman, don't make the same mistakes I did. That being said and also true, I still think I'll come out of this okay.

As this will be in my thoughts all day, I'm sure I'll be adding to this blog as the day moves along. This will be heavily in my thoughts over the next several months, but I'll try not to bring my feelings to this blog every time I write. hursday we are going to begin the decision of how to divide everything, not that we have a lot.

thesadmusicaddict