I Still Love You

Hello,

Updated: I've been hearing some feedback that I'm saying bad things about my ex-wife. Please in anyway do not take anything I write as negative to her. She's a really good person, I wouldn't be in love with her if she wasn't. The marriage didn't work for her. We are both moving on, I'm hopefully within in a year will be back to whole. I'm in no hurry to meet someone else, I think I will chill for awhile. If the Lord brings someone into my life, I'm not going to turn it down. But at least for awhile I'm not going to seek her out either.

I continue to be rolling in pain about the loss of my wife, by losing her I've lost so many things. I'm in so much pain and still the tears won't come. S I still love you so much and I'll be here for you no matters what happens. I know you have moved on and I know I need to move on. Maybe once our divorce is final I can put up a profile and look for someone to try and take your place. I don't know if there's such a person.

My oldest boy is visiting me this weekend and I told him I'm going to be a dud, I'm still in such a world of hurt. I told him I still love his Mom so much and this is a very difficult process for me. I'm looking forward to going to church. The last two weeks I went the Spirit really came and helped me. It cauterized my open wounds.

This isn't an attempt to win my wife back, although I'd like that very much. This is an attempt to get some sort of catharsis as the grief just keeps on building up. When we went to Sacrament today, a return missionary was speaking. He reminded us that the Lord is not going to give us more than we can handle. With no job and a divorce from a woman I still love a lot I think I'm pretty close to the edge.

Everything reminds me of her. My parents have gone out of town and my boy asked where they went. I told him "Las Vegas", he asked if I had ever been there. I said yes but didn't elaborate. That's where my wife and I went on our honeymoon to. It's also where my brother got married about a year later.

I also remember driving her to the hospital when our daughter was born, it was a snowy morning. I still two songs that played on the radio that morning, Nelly Furtado's "I'm Like A Bird" and Vertical Horizon's "Best I've Ever Had". I also remember how valiantly she gave birth in a bathtub, not intentionally. That was absolutely amazing how she did that. That was one of the most courageous things I've ever seen. S, you rock.



Yes S I know you are gone, never to return. I just don't want you to ever forget how much I love you. I'm sorry for not treating you as a daughter of our Heavenly Father like I should have done. This song is exactly how I feel:





If any of you have any advice how to deal with divorce, please let me know. I'm in so much pain.



This is the worst song in the world to hear when going through a break up, especially when you still love who you are breaking up with like crazy. This song describes how I feel exactly other than the drinking parts.



themusicaddict